Being a loser can be GREAT thing!

This is me, 90 pounds ago. We were on a family vacation to Washington DC to visit our cousins. This day we were at Busch Gardens and I am holding Natalie who was not yet 3 and Allison was somewhere nearby in her stroller, she was only 3 months old. I knew I had weight to lose but I had no idea that after 90 pounds I'd feel more like myself then I'd ever had.

Weight creeps up somehow when you aren't looking...much like laundry, weeds in the garden, junk mail on counter - you get the idea. Unlike, all these other "collections" we can't commit to one long day (or weekend for my laundry pile) to catch up and be even again. Weight is an issue that isn't discussed openly and everyone has a different perception of what is ok. Losing weight isn't fun! It is hard boring work, I often am unmotivated and even depressed during dieting because my family centers everything around FOOD! When I'm not eating I'm not engaging and trust me I WANT to engage!

Many people have asked me along the way how I did it, what was my secret??? I did what we all know you are supposed to do. It was boring, it was disappointing at times, it was LONG - a year and a half to when I reached my skinniest. I was finally done! That was my motivation, I wanted to be thin...I also wanted to see if I could really do it, I knew there was nothing stopping me and that there were no excuses. So I took a step and began walking and exercising and eating healthy....That worked for the first 5o lbs...

I did have a baby, that helps:) But 8 lbs 1o oz of baby does not require a 90 pound weight gain...However the baby weight came off and then I slowly began chipping away at my own pounds. One thing I remember over the span of these 50 pounds was that no one really noticed. I also only went down 2 sizes, 50 pounds and a girl only loses 2 sizes that is terrible!

Then I stalled, I couldn't get through any more weight. I was back to my comfy Suzanne size and could have probably stayed there. I wasn't too fat but I wasn't too thin either...this was the deciding factor - Why couldn't I be thin? What was stopping me? The week of Allison's first birthday, I gave myself a present - Jenny Craig!

At first I was embarrassed, I felt I had taken the easy way out. That I didn't want to tell anyone for risk of being judged or questioned. At this point of my weight loss I didn't feel FAT any more, I just wanted to be skinny and I felt selfish. Selfish that I was eating this pricy food (although I continued to cook for my family), selfish that I was spending money weekly on "eating healthy", selfish that I wanted this new figure...I haven't got completely past but it's getting better.

Once I lost the first 20 with Jenny, for a total of 70 pounds people began talking...FINALLY, mind you I still had only gone down 3 sizes...this is the fine print no one reads about being tall. At 5-10 I lost 70 pounds, and just now people are noticing??? Seriously, that is not fair!

The last 20 was definitely the hardest. As you get thinner and thinner you think this is pretty good, this is good enough. But I saw it to the end all in all at my skinniest I am down 94 pounds from the day I gave birth to baby #2. I have a few friends that weigh 94 pounds...isn't that weird? I am in a 10 sometimes an 8. I'm not always a medium...I am happy with my weight, satisfied that I lost so much. I didn't intend to lose almost 100 pounds, if you had asked me, I don't think I would have thought I had an "extra" 100 pounds on my body - that's the weird part. Many people don't realize how much "extra" they are carrying around...figuratively and literally.

To the nay sayers of Jenny Craig and the like...

The food tastes great!

There is not much of it!

It teaches portion control.

Namely, calorie counting - I truly know how much 1200 vs. 1500 calories look like.

The food has loads of preservatives, additives, has an obscene shelf life and gave me headaches for the first 2 weeks...

I easily made the transition from boxed food to real food - but continue to count calories and eat small portions.

In essence, I ate unhealthy foods to get to a healthy weight. I'm still losing, a little bit here and there and exercising, and training at the gym...it is a little selfish of me, I know - but with added health comes more energy for my family and teaching them good nutrition is a gift.

Seriously 94 pounds???? I still can not believe it!