What a Day!

This Blog is really meant to keep record of all the craziness and effort it takes to keep life rolling along. Something we will look back on and the girls will have to see what it was like because I know most moms "forget" all the tough stuff and "pretend" the details for what they really are. Today was a DAY! Ben has been traveling more and as much as I would like to complain I am just thankful he has work when so many of our friends and neighbors are struggling with jobs. The girls are both old enough now to understand when Ben is gone and since we decided for me to take a part time job, the stress of Ben being gone really leaks into every crevice of Yellowstone Street.

I took the girls down to Nana and Papa's so we could drive Pepper Drive for Christmas lights, bake treats and have our favorite Pajama time we love so much. Well things were going VERY well until I noticed black crayon on Papa's leather couch in the living room. If you know my dad at all you know not to mess with is stuff. The rules were strict when I was young and I followed them mostly out of fear. Ben and I have more relaxed rules in our house but still are teaching respect and care of things - certainly not allowing Natalie to color on our furniture.

We were on our way (freshly showered, coordinating outfits for gingerbread house building, hair brushed ready to go) and when we were kissing Cay Cay goodbye I noticed the crayon on the couch...I went to get a towel and some warm water to rub it out and I made it worse...I hadn't announced anything yet and while I was doing such handiwork Natalie had moved on to a vase with silk flowers my mom had brought back from Italy...she was tugging on the flowers and the vase was about to fall over. I picked her up and whisked her to the couch in the den. Feeling my anger surge and spill over. Not only was I so UPSET, my parents were about to witness my parenting front row and I felt their eyes on me. I was blessed with the quick thought of NOT to spank. There was a pause...my flesh wanted to spank away but I never spank out of anger but out of consequence (I hope in 20 years my kids agree). I KNEW a better punishment was to take away the playdate involving gingerbread construction. They very activity Natalie wanted more then ANYTHING that day. A spanking lasted a moment, taking away this exciting playdate would last ALL day...

It worked, she was remorseful, apologetic, and I really felt bad, but KNEW I picked the right punishment. She was "sad" all the way home, and when we arrived she sulked off into her room and got under the covers to take pity on herself. I saw what life was like for a preteen for a moment. I was proud of my parenting, thought I fixed the mistake, that she would recover and forever have learned the lesson of wrong doing. Little did I know what I was in for...

I entered her room with my imaginary parenting ribbon on my chest, thinking so highly of my meticulous decision. I knelt by her bed and pushed her hair behind her ears and we made our peace, she explained why she was feeling so blue and I took it hook line and sinker. I invited her out of her room and asked her to help me with a craft. NO TV and NO GINGERBREAD HOUSE, but a craft? Come on Suzanne, that is her favorite thing to do! How could I have followed up my exquisite parenting with such a ridicules idea?

She started getting silly with the glue, the threats came again, "If you don't pay attention we'll put the craft away." "You need to be careful, stop now" "Natalie, dot, dot not a lot." Thinking about it now in my head I am so frustrated - I totally should have left her in her humbleness under the covers...

Then it was the card crafts, my scrapbooking, the ornaments on the tree, playing nice with her sister, on and on. She had two time outs for various infarctions and then a spanking for repeating the original offense of hurting furniture. It was one of those days that if she were older I would have just closed the door and made her stay in there all day - or taken away all her toys, etc, etc....

The day ended and I'm sure I'll wake up to my sweet Natalie who is creative and funny, loving and quirky...but really, today? Ben gone for 3 days - 3 days left on my own...oh sweet Natalie - I know I'll forget these days. I am so glad that my girls are tucked into bed getting the rest they so need after a FUN weekend at Nana and Papas...tomorrow they will be rested and happy! I realize now that my proud moment wasn't in my false belief that I made a revolutionary decision but that I actually made it through the day and took the time to reflect on what I did wrong and how I can do better next time.

Why isn't there a manual? A way to do things approved by the National something or other? I just want to do it right...these are the days we need to remember too! Not just sugar and spice and everything nice...

pictures to follow...